25 November 2008 // 09:58 // blog
16 November 2008 // 09:42 // blog
These things are awesome. That is all.
28 October 2008 // 17:35 // blog
I had honestly just assumed that it was common knowledge that you just don't do certain things. Things like spilling the last beer, eating the last slice, and dating your friend's ex girlfriend are generally DON'Ts in the morality department. Enjoying the last beer, giving the last slice to some girl you're going to sleep with later, and having casual sex with your friend's ex that you gave pizza to earlier are, on the other hand, DOs (as long as you give your friend a heads up first, you shady douchebag). Life is filled with endless similar scenarios; DOs and DON'Ts come in pairs and are pretty common. Everyone knows this. Everyone except... this girl (see picture).
26 October 2008 // 14:30 // news
I will be permanently moving back to NYC on 1 Nov (less than a week!). I'll be back at the office in Times Sq., and living in Brooklyn. I can't even begin to describe how excited I am to be back in the city for good (not that the midwest doesn't have its charms... errrr...).
26 October 2008 // 14:27 // update
It's been quite a while since I've had any time to do work on mattway.com. Even worse, in the few spare moments I have had, I'd find myself removing parts of the old site until only the blog was left. As much as I may enjoy blogging, there's a lot more to what I do than just random diatribes, thus a redesign.
01 October 2008 // 21:50 // blog
I guess the subject makes it sound like this is going to be some lengthy diatribe about global warming or recent politics. My general sentiment for Sarah Palin notwithstanding, this will be as far from political as possible for fear that I might never stop ranting.
05 September 2008 // 16:46 // blog
I think it was after about the 15th email about "getting better erections" today that I had finally had enough and said to one of my friends (verbatim), "I can hardly work with all of these erections popping up everywhere." Whoops. Good thing I wasn't thinking out loud to my boss. At that point, my friend replied with ".........................." and I knew that conversation was pretty much tapped out. I really need to get that under control; I can't have someone looking over my shoulder and seeing a mailbox full of erections. Er, erection emails. Er. You know what, nevermind.
22 August 2008 // 14:51 // blog
After a gruelling four-hour work day (I only work half a day on Fridays in the hopes that I might actually stop using the computer by 6pm), I stumbled upon something that, in theory, seemed like such an amazing idea. No, it wasn't one of mine - I keep all of my good ideas to myself, locked more tightly than Paris Hilton's... er, locked more tightly than Mary Kate and Ashley's... ...well, today doesn't seem to be much of a day for metaphors, does it?
03 August 2008 // 11:20 // blog
Allow me to begin with a lengthy tirade about the Bank of "America". Without spending too much time on the obvious, I, like many others, was opening a bank account one day in Manhattan. Aside from the fact that there are at least 15 banks on any given block, one stood out in particular: the Bank of "America". With its overbearing sense of omnipresence and corporation, I felt as though my money would be not only safe, but accessible from anywere in "America"... and that, my friends, is where I would have been wrong. After over half a year in New York (and having never had a problem with them), I left for Michigan. While in Michigan, I had no problem using Bank of "America" because... well, Michigan is part of "America", and that's what the bank is for. Seems logical, right? After several concerned looks and questions as to why I would leave New York for Michigan, I still felt confident that this was an appropriate choice for banking. That is, until I got to Ohio. I won't go so far as to say that this bank doesn't particularly feel that Ohio is part of "America", but I will say that they definitely do not acknowledge Ohio's membership and participation as a state. I can't be certain but there is a nagging feeling that Ohio has, in fact, not seceded from the union in the recent past. Actually, it has never seceded from the union and, as it were, has been at least marginally important in a political sense when compared to places like Vermont that DO have a collective desire for secession. If you hadn't already guessed, there is not a single Bank of "America" in Ohio. In fact, not only is there not one in the entire state, there isn't even one in western Pennsylvania. When I searched for the closest branches on their website, it told me that the closest one was in Michigan... where I was banking before I came back to Ohio. High five, Bank of "America".
25 July 2008 // 17:51 // blog
Well, I'm back in Ohio for a little while. It's funny how you leave somewhere for 8 months and everything is exactly the same when you come back. Life in the midwest feels like it's moving so slow that it may as well be moving backwards. On the flip side, though, having a little space and time to relax for a while never killed anyone. At least, I don't think so.
29 June 2008 // 19:36 // blog
I'm not sure if there's ever been a scientific study done on exactly how many episodes of America's Next Top Model it takes to turn you into a vegetable, but I would like to volunteer the number seven. I say seven because I have, in fact, watched that many episodes today. I think that the initial stages of vegetation set in during episode five, but at that point the brain can no longer differentiate between modeling and reality, thus leading my brain on a downward spiral toward utter materialism.
10 June 2008 // 21:39 // blog
Before I even start, I'd like to mention that I am not a germophobe. I'd also like to point out that I looked up the "real word" for germophobe and I was presented with "spermophobe" as a colorful alternative. I'll just stick with germs, thanks.
31 May 2008 // 22:51 // blog
Things change. Suddenly, unexpectedly, and without warning or precedent. Resisting change is like rowing upstream without a paddle: it's frustrating, futile, and doesn't make a whole lot of sense. There's a certain turning point, after years of said futility, that you realize resistance has become less of an act of independence (read: stubbornness) and more like beating a dead horse.
25 February 2008 // 02:48 // blog
I guess we all realize that the world is filled with different kinds of people; at least, I hope it is, because there are plenty of people who ought not to have themselves running around in any multiple except for 1. That said, there are certain events that trigger and enhance your perception and understanding of said different types of people: one of which, naturally, is a cliche, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an announcement" kind of man propagandizing a subway car with "education vs ignorance and violence" diatribe to get people to buy his self-published newspaper. I guiltily (oh, adverbs) ignored the guy until I got off the train, ran around town, and came back to find him on the train (a different one, obviously)... again. So, believing that things happen for a reason, I humored my conscience and bought a paper for a dollar. There are certain points in life at which you wish you had previously had the foresight to not do something really stupid: shortly after spending that dollar, I reached one of those points. I'm by no means a greedy (or even frugal) person, but honestly, that was the worst dollar I've ever spent, and I want it back.
18 February 2008 // 01:47 // blog
I wonder if any other 20-something heterosexual guys ever find themselves staring at various flavors of Ben & Jerry's at the grocery store and secretly wonder if everyone walking past them is contemplating their sexuality. I considered this in a semi-paranoid fashion while I stood in front of the freezer section for a good 5 or 10 minutes until I finally made a choice. There are certain rules, I think, that apply when one happens to be male and buys ice cream by oneself; the most important rule, notably, being that if you are not capable of having a period, you are also not allowed to buy and/or consume any type of Ben & Jerry's ice cream that consists of 4 or more chocolate ingredients (which rules out quite a few). I am pleased to announce that, after careful consideration of this rule (amongst others), I made a choice (Cookies & Cream) and am enjoying it currently. You're jealous, I know.
02 February 2008 // 10:08 // blog
Man, it's been a while. Before I start, let me just say that NYC's roadrunner 10mb cable is a glorious, glorious service. Well, that is until you consider you have a 10mb/s downstream and a .5mb upstream, and you ask yourself, "Am I getting raped with digital smoke and mirrors, here?" Yes, but in today's selfish internet world, who needs to upload anything anyway, right? Right. Moving on.
11 January 2008 // 22:06 // blog
In terms of personal productivity, this past week has probably been the laziest week of my life, save for maybe one time when I was basically comatose from strep throat and vicodin. From a professional perspective, though, I haven't really had much of a chance to blink. Work has been crazy in a menial sense; there hasn't been anything that's really utilized my skills so far, but I'm getting into the swing of things and I'm sure that sooner rather than later I'll be programming my little heart out. Cute, I know.
05 January 2008 // 13:52 // blog
I have been so busy. This post is a few days overdue, so happy belated new years or something like that. I spent New Years Eve watching the ball drop with my parents and then going out to the bar to see my friends before I left the next morning. New Years Day found me driving across Pennsylvania with my dad with most of my life packed into boxes. We finally got to the apartment after around 7 hours of driving, at which point we went into the city and adventured around for a little bit. When we got back home, I ended up sleeping on the living room floor while a handful of people talked, yelled, slammed doors, and walked between the living room and my new bedroom from 1am to 5am, when they left. Fortunately, aside from my little bout of insomnia, everything went smoothly.
